PROMISES TO MY UNBORN DAUGHTER

in my daughters eyes

And though she be but little, she is fierce!

Shakespeare


In a world that is fickle and obsessed with physical beauty I promise to teach you why you should worry less about perfecting selfie angles and using the perfect camera filters to get plenty of likes, but more on how to shatter glass ceilings and how to believe that you are beautiful even without a mirror or a compliment.

I promise to be your first role model, your cheerleader and your first friend. I promise to be approachable and accommodating towards you – all the things that concern you included.  I promise to play you Martina McBride’s In my daughter’s eyes often until you know all the words by heart so you may in turn play it for your daughter too.

I promise to affirm and love you even on the days you feel weak, broken and in despair. I promise to hold you – however old you are – as we watch reruns of Grey’s Anatomy as we indulge on ice cream. I promise to teach you all about the phenomenal female doctors in Grey’s – Callie Torres the Ortho god, Miranda Bailey the chief of surgery, Meredith Grey the kickass surgeon, Catherine Avery, Cristina Yang, April Kepner, Lexie Grey, Stephanie Edwards, Maggie Pierce and together we will learn lessons on how these women deal with loss, success, love and friendship.

I promise to teach you my favorite quote – that no matter what, the carousel does not stop. I promise to hug you tightly and tell you that whatever hurts the world may hurl at your feet,  YOU ARE ENOUGH!

I promise to encourage you to be strong willed, to be passionate in the things that you believe in, to not cower but to speak with conviction and chase all the things that scare you – especially the things that people tell you you cannot be because you are different.

I promise to support whichever career path you decide to follow – I promise to understand that not all women can be doctors, scientists, investment bankers, lawyers, engineers and pilots – some too can be artists, photographers, painters, singers, DJ’s, radio or tv hosts, writers and still earn a livelihood respectably. I promise to encourage you to follow your dreams and fiercely at that!

I promise to appreciate the unique things about you and encourage your individuality; let your inner light shine through to all you meet.  I promise to praise your imperfections and not to be fixated on doing things my way.

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I promise to teach you how to love your body, the texture of your hair, the color of your eyes and your skin color. I promise to teach you to not just regard beauty in a superficial way. I promise to however call you beautiful and kiss your forehead each time we hug just so you may never forget that you are God’s masterpiece.

I promise to be a responsible mother, hard working, loving and not motivated by selfishness. I promise to validate your feelings even when I hurt you. I promise that no worldly possession will come between the love I have for you my child.

I promise to buy you not just stuffed animals and dolls or makeup when you are older, but also books and pay for your library membership (this will be expected of a librarian’s daughter). I promise to make you love books just as my mother and her mother did. I promise to pass on my African authored books to you to read – Africana, The Secret Lives Of Baba Segi’s Wives, Kiu, A man of the people, Kitumbua Kimeingia Mchanga, On Black Sisters Street, Siku Njema, Purple Hibiscus, The domestication of Munachi and others- for perhaps then you will fall in love with our African culture and learn of the African greats through the authors that shaped me.

I promise to teach you all about my culture, how to be a virtuous woman; kind and generous like my mother and her mother. I will regale you with stories of how my grandma never settled for less and single-handedly raised 6 daughters to be phenomenal women in their own right.

I promise most importantly, to teach you how to study scripture, teach you how to bend you knee to God, to marvel at all of God’s creation, to understand that prayer will open doors for you – especially iron wrought ones that you do not think can budge.

I promise to also pray and intercede for you to God that he may grant you protection, providence, wisdom, that he may give you strength and all that it takes to be a woman full of joy, laughter and whose character is what will make her beautiful and more precious than any jewel.

I promise that above all else, I will count you as one of my blessings – a special one, seed of my womb, prayed for before conception, placed in my hands to forever love and placed in this world for a special purpose.

 

 

 

 

*inspired by Father Forgets by W. Livingston Larned

photo cred: Instagram mothers & daughters

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